Random Thoughts - Terminated Relationships
'From the moment that I saw you, I knew that one day that I'd fall in love with you.' Maybe that was something that you wanted to hear come from my lips. Would you rather I lie and state that or would you rather I am real and truthful to you? Honestly, I had no clue that we were ever going to date. We became friends and somehow I was immediately put into the friend-zone. Maybe that is how this time period works. Of course, you wouldn't want familiarity even though you spout all the lies of 'I wish I would find a guy like you'. Thing is, I am a guy like myself, but since we are already friends and you have become familiar with me, you are unattracted to me because you don't believe that I could ever surprise you. Maybe you're right because I may not even try, but since we are already familiar with each other, I won't make you go through the awkward periods of relationships. I cannot get you a gift you will hate, and yet you chose a random person before you chose me. I can't say that I love you because my emotions had been played by you. They have been played by your actions and so I cannot be romantic with you anymore.I will be cynical instead because it fits my feelings better.
I probably bore you, but at least you know I won't leave. I have nowhere else to go because going one way, I fall off a cliff into doom and despair and the other option would be to go downhill. Why would I ruin something at the top for something at the bottom? Maybe some shrill plans with some courtesans can allow me to fall, but for the life of me, you are with me because you wanted to feel loud, not because you have feelings for me. I think that is why we are stuck with each other, we've become content with each other and trying to assimilate someone else into either of our lifestyles is too much of a hassle.
I can't say that I even love you, but can you? We won't leave each other because then our lives must change and we just aren't ready for that. We don't even have physical or emotional interactions anymore. It's like we are staying together because I have your CDs still in my vehicle. We used to talk, we used to connect. What happened? Did that connection disappear when you said, 'I do'? Had our lives been selectively decided to become a bore and chore to one another?
Can't we both just terminate completely our feeble relationship?