Dairy Post #2
"December 6th 2015
I hereby declare that I am in need of a therapist. All my relationships whether they be sexual or emotional are not how they used to be. I used to be happy, always told that I never frowned. Now it seems that I am always sad and I can't be around people for extended periods of times because I become annoyed with them. Growing up my mother abandoned me and my family. She first declared that she wanting nothing to do with her kids. Then when she wanted back into our lives, she forced me to live with her. I was an infant at the time, so I had no clue as to what was going on. I just had a smile on my face at all times because I never thought anything bad had happened. This all changed when my family thought that I had become of age.
I was told about the terrible things that I endured during my childhood. I wasn't that good of a child anymore. I stole things that I didn't have and was envious of. I also was a compulsive liar; however, I was an amazing story teller. I could tell the most imaginative stories with ease, but my imagination went away so quickly that there was no change of any of those stories to come to light. Anyway, my mother was an adulterer, probably still is, and she left my father for some other guy that she felt more sexually attracted to. She had explained that she wanted nothing to do with her kids or anything else that impeded her needs (but really wants). I was an infant at the time so I had no clue what was going on. I remember one night I was crying hysterically that I wanted my momma. and she never showed.
About 3 years later my mother had returned. Did I want her there? I have no clue, it was probably only one day in my mind that passed by when she was gone and her return. Her and my father tried to work thing out, but sadly, it didn;t work out and they were going to sell the house. In the meantime, my mother was staying with her boyfriend and my dad was trying to take care of the kids and a multitude of pets that my mother just 'needed' to have. I felt bad for these animals because they weren't treated how they would've been if my mother stayed around and they had to be returned.
Tonight the true college kids come out. It is now the second in a row for one of my suitemates to have to have sex and finally for another to be laid this month. I may be one of the only college kids this year to not be laid. Albeit, I'm not trying to reach that final goal. I've had sex once and then after I that I fell in love. I don't think that I have ever stopped loving her, it just doesn't show anymore. "