Window at the Top of the Building
Everything has value to a person. Something more than others for different reasons. As an example, I have two notebooks that I write in. One is an old and worn notebook that was given to me by family and the other one was a free notebook given to me by my college during testing. Both have value to me because they both give me memories of my past, but the worn notebook means more to me because it was the original notebook that contained my first writings and it was given to me by family; however, this doesn't tarnish the memories that the college gave me when they gave me the free notebook. For even the smallest of items, there is value to everything.
Not only do things you own contain a value, but things that you don't own have value too. Such as specific seats at a theater, a place or an idea.Now, understand that even though something has value, doesn't mean that it is necessarily a good value. For instance, the movie, "The Blind Side", leaves a unnerving feeling in my body when I watch it because when I first saw it, I was with my girlfriend at the time in the movies and, since I was a teenager growing up on the 90s nostalgia of teenagers I believed that movies were for making out, so, everytime I watch "The Blind Side" I get an unnerving feeling because it reminds me of the time I tried so hard to make out in the movie theaters even though I knew she didn't want to.
Every year I celebrate an informal 'Ex Day' on April 30th. Why this date? Because that date is the day that a wonderful relationship of mine ended and it has affected ever since. On this 'Ex Day' I watch, listen, read, and do anything that reminds me of all previous relationships. For example, I watch "A Walk to Remember" because I watched that movie for the first time on my birthday that my girlfriend planned for me. Other specific materials that are used on that day are, "The Fault in Our Stars", "The Blind Side", "Rocky Horror Picture Show", "The Perks of Being a Wallflower", and a few others. I celebrate this day because I used to always think of my exes, and think of what I did wrong and 'what if' scenarios to try and see what would have happened if we stuck through everything. This is quite unhealthy to do quite often and it consumed me to the degree that I would be depressed for weeks, unable to get motivation do anything else but reminisce in the past. Thus, the creation of 'Ex-Day' and now I let all that sadness out on that day and it is quite therapeutic and easier to deal with. This April 30th would mark the third year that I've done this. The first year I watched, listened, and read everything that I could, but the year after that, it was fewer items and I believe that this year it would be even fewer; however, I know that this year, there will still be the "Window at the Top of the Building".
The "Window at the Top of the Building" is really just a window that was from a girlfriend's dorm room. Every time that I walked by that dorm, I would look at the top of the building and if I saw a light on, I knew that she would be there. The light also determined her feelings towards that day. If the light was lit all the way, it would mean that her emotions were on high that day and she would be happy to hang out. If it was dim, she was not having the best day and she didn't really want to be bothered with. If the light was completely off, it would mean...well I never really figured out what that meant, but if I had to guess, it would most likely be that she wasn't in her room, she was asleep, or the devil was in her and that would mean that no one should come within fifty feet of her or else. That window has become of value to me because it reminds me of her and everything of our time together.
This Valentine's Day, I am single, which isn't a first, but it is the first time that I don't care that I'm single. I know that there are things that I've done either primary or secondary that reminds someone of me. I am in the mind of others and even if you haven't been in a relationship or are single currently, you too are in the mind of someone else for being who you are. They might tell you, or they might never tell you, but you are in their mind. So, if you feel like you aren't loved this Valentine's Day, then you are mistaken, because someone out there will be thinking about you...
...sooner or later.